Another excerpt from recent correspondence. The question has been rephrased.


There are many different qualities of japa and nama-bhajana, yielding diverse effects. The question makes it evident that you expect, and you are essentially justified in the expectation, that your worship of the names would have purged your heart from your unwanted traits. Why hasn't this happened?

The first question you must ask yourself, in assessing the quality of your japa, is – "What am I thinking while chanting?" The name is cintamani, a wish-fulfilling touch-stone, or literally "thought-jewel". Then, chanting has to go together with some thinking if one is to attain fulfillment in chanting. If you cannot give a clear answer as to what you are thinking, you are way out in the woods with your practice, so to say. If you can come up with an answer, then good – you have gained some focus in your worship. Now, and assuming that there is some focus to begin with, that focus needs to be refined to come up to par with the standard of suddha-bhakti.

People in this world are able to come up with a vast medley of desires disconnected from the true purpose of bhakti. We guise our ambitions into devotional desires, hoping to attain enjoyments or recognition by our practice. This is bhakti in the mode of passion. We may be thinking wicked thoughts of others, assessing their bad qualities or even wishing for their bad fortune. This is bhakti in the mode of ignorance. Or, and an option better than the other two, you may be wishing for freedom from the miseries of the world, or from your bad qualities, and so forth. This is bhakti in the mode of goodness. It is still in the conditioned realm, veiling the true powers of the worship of the name. They must be rejected through refinement of desire.

Worshiping the divine name must be accompanied by heartfelt prayers for the Lord's service. The grade of these prayers, all basically in the realm of suddha-bhakti, varies depending on the eligibility of the sadhaka, spanning from initial desires for selfless surrender and service to the more advanced stages, where the sadhaka has become established in a specific relationship with the Lord and longs for particular services to be fulfilled in his nitya-svarupa in the context of the Lord's eternal pastimes.



Ask the question "Why?" again and again. Remember the answer again and again, "Only for your service, and for nothing else." If you pray for riddance from the pangs of your anger, stop yourself and ask "Why?". Then give yourself the correct answer – "Dear Krishna, I wish to be rid of anger because I am ashamed to come before you in such a distraught state of mind, and I also fear I will offend your dear servants in my fits of rage." In this way, clarify the purpose of your worship and of your existence.

If the heart does not cry with feeling when chanting the names, you should know that a level of proper chanting is still cast afar. The name should be chanted with feeling. There are some, who forbid you from thinking anything at all while chanting – shun their company, let them merge in the impersonal godhead if they so will. The holy name is Krishna – a real, living divine person with whom you develop a deep, affectionate relationship. A relationship indicates variety, thoughts, exchanges, desires, longings, proposals, discussions – acquaint yourself with the Lord with his easily accessible and beautiful name.

If your heart is not overflowing with the rasa arising from the perception of of extraordinary and astonishing pastimes, lament and cry in separation. If your heart does not lament and cry in separation, scold yourself for having cultivated such a wretched condition of heart, framed with steel as it were. If you cannot sincerely scold yourself over this, lament over your shameless condition and realize how far removed you have been cast from having a relationship with the Lord, the only true meaning for life.

In one way or another, discover a connection that invokes emotion while chanting the name, and from there onwards you'll find your nama-ruci growing. Whenever moments of clarity and feeling arise in the core of your heart, make a deep impression of them, and return to them again and again. Remember the times you found some success in your nama-bhajana, and let that act in inspiring you and in invoking the same feelings again.

Taking this avenue of worship with sincerity, you'll find your heart becoming swiftly purified of the pollutants accumulated over countless lifetimes. You'll find your heart's lotus coming to bloom, and you'll find yourself in a position to invite the Lord to take his seat as the sovereign, sporting deity of your heart.