My earlier note on misleading in the Knocking on the Cocoon entry led some to wonder what exactly I meant with that. Let's let that be clarified.

There is no doubt that the vast majority of things I've ever said in public fall within the proper framework of orthodox Gaudiya Vaisnavism. In fact, leaving the work I've done in this regard as one of my legacies is something I am quite content about, even if there would undoubtedly be room for improvement in many ways. What's in the books is in the books, and what the tradition here teaches is what they teach, and I have my level best represented the same. As such, my note on misleading was not tied with my being able to make accurate presentations on the different facets of Gaudiya Vaisnavism.

The problem comes when we enter the realm of applied Gaudiya Vaisnavism. The moment when people come and ask, "Okay, now what does this mean for me?". Having people place their faith in your advice, and thereby your assuming a degree of personal responsibility over it, is a lot more serious business than theoretical presentations can ever be. And it is in this very realm that I feel the dire presence of my shortcomings.

Some would opine that the former is still valuable, and that I could do much in that realm if I wanted to. In my experience, the first quite inevitably leads eventually to the second, and my nature makes it hard for me to refuse from helping people when help is called for. With this quirk of nature, I have often over-extended myself, and at times perhaps beyond the permissible limit, in attempts to facilitate others.

And I am decidedly not comfortable doing just half the job with something like this! This attitude isn't something I can thoroughly explain, nor is it something I would be inclined to debate about or enter into dialog over. The heart is the heart, and it feels as it does, and very few are those who would be able to adjust its fundamentals, especially if done with a pragmatic objective. It's only so long one can go against the current of one's heart.

This should give the statement on misleading a bit more of a context.

As a postscriptum to the entry on siksa-gurus, if it wasn't evident, then let me note that I am not talking "from the book" in, for example, listing different reasons why the diksa-guru might not be able to teach as much as desired. I am talking about experiences, observations and real life.

After speaking doctrine for many years, and before eventually withdrawing to solitude, I wish to make this one last contribution, namely my observations on how doctrine translates into practical reality. With that, I am not suggesting that anyone should follow my example, insights or anything else depending on my estimations. Process the information, make of it what you will, take the bits that would help you steer on a good course.

And should the inevitable happen, that is, someone writing and asking, "Now, given all that, what should I do?", please be aware that I will have no specific answer for you. My answer is this: Study everything carefully and be ever observant, know the principles and demand coherence from practical application, be thoroughly honest with yourself, and don't shy away from making moves that seem right or necessary for you, even if it means going against the mainstream. In your integrity lies your salvation, not in ritual confessions or obligatory conformance.