Destination Varanasi
28th of February, 2008 - 13:22
Leaving within the hour. It just dawned to me that Siva-ratri is right behind the corner, and Varanasi is approximately on the way...
Bengali lessons concluded
26th of February, 2008 - 15:53
Two months of Bengali lessons with Sakhicharan and Bisakha came to a conclusion today with the last chapter of the textbook discussions finished.
New section: Downloads
26th of February, 2008 - 7:55
A new section has been opened, hosting a number of media for download.
Raganuga for grabs
25th of February, 2008 - 21:26
Raganuga.Com and Raganuga.Org are available if someone wants to take the domains over and begin something anew.
Vraja Journal Digest - Newsletter discontinued
25th of February, 2008 - 7:52
The newsletter is discontinued in favor of a RSS newsfeed. I'm also heading towards Orissa in a few days, will be away for the better part of two months.
25th of February, 2008 - 3:44
I received a letter asking about the specifics of the design Visakha-sakhi draws on Radha's forehead after her morning bath, otherwise described as kama-yantra in Govinda-lilamrita. This is the reply.
Project Index - Concluding words
23rd of February, 2008 - 19:16
The project index at Madhavananda.com is indefinitely frozen. These are the concluding words posted today in the news section in announcing the same.
Soundscapes Reloaded
22nd of February, 2008 - 14:16
This is a continuation of the earlier blog entry featuring random sounds from Radhakund.
The Eve-teasing Problem
21st of February, 2008 - 15:24
In light of the recent rape and murder of Ananda-lila, an Australian girl who was staying in Vrindavan, people have asked for my comments on the culture of sexual harassment regrettably prevalent in India, sometimes labeled "eve-teasing", a rather archaic and tidy expression for an ugly social wrong.
Project ongoings
19th of February, 2008 - 11:09
Notes on diverse projects as the show is winding up. The ongoing-section of Vraja Journal retires.
Levels of Mantra and Meditation
17th of February, 2008 - 5:22
There are different levels on which a mantra functions or may be employed. Awareness of them, along with honest assessments of one's internal mental growth and present state, can prove to be helpful. I am also contrasting them with the theology of the four common aspects we know as nama, rupa, guna and lila.
And if you want to discuss...
16th of February, 2008 - 8:49
A few days back, my friend Jijaji told me he'd like to see a feature for leaving online comments on blog entries.
Gaudiya Discussions - Archives Reloaded
16th of February, 2008 - 8:26
These are the archives of Gaudiya Discussions, the once mighty giant of online Gaudiya Vaishnava discussions, debates, history, theology, controversy and creativity...
To Russian disciples of BVNM
15th of February, 2008 - 8:57
I keep hearing from several sources that some Russian disciples of BVNM have, as I had much predicted, employed my recent writings as ammunition in their hate campaign against the babaji tradition. Since none have contacted me in person, this is my open letter to them all.
Random soundscapes from Radhakund
12th of February, 2008 - 16:23
A while back a friend asked me to record some random bits of sound at Radhakund to get a better feel of the atmosphere. Here goes.
What I really want to say
11th of February, 2008 - 16:46
I just received a comment asking: "Do you want to stop posting clarifications and disclaimers and get down to the nitty-gritty of what you want to say?" Now, what do I really want to say? <pin drop silence follows>
My insight ventures
11th of February, 2008 - 7:15
With the occasional reference to yogic or Advaitin scriptures, or Buddhist suttas for that matter, some have been wondering about my explorations of knowledge outside the classical Vaisnava canon. Let's have a brief gloss on the why and the what to give everyone a better picture of what things are all about.
For all of you who want to spread the word
5th of February, 2008 - 19:39
Today I'm writing a note to all of you there, whether you're disciples of Narayana Maharaja, gurubhais of mine, or just random folks who want to interpret what I've written and tell all about it to your pals and all. And here's what I wish to say.
When the weather report is on
4th of February, 2008 - 19:30
I'd like to put in a note to all those who would judge me for what I am as I dive into the dark depths of my heart and pull out these horrendous blog entries. And yes, also for those well-wishers who have already concluded that I am a person with zilch spiritual authority or insight and informed me of the same. As well as for anyone else who might alter their perceptions of me because of what I have written, what I am writing and what I will come to write.
TBI - Part 3 - The factors that made me credulous
4th of February, 2008 - 19:16
From my last blog in this series, you'll remember the picture of someone rather stressed out by noise and corruption, pondering his future direction. What were my inner workings in the period that immediately preceded meeting this babaji? What made me so vulnerable to being duped? That's in turn for today's blog.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
1st of February, 2008 - 18:13
A word of clarification is in place, as my blogs as of late seem to have created some buzz in the blogosphere. Was Bhaktisiddhanta right about those bad babajis after all? My recent blogs were briefly mentioned in Jagadananda's recent blog, and a comment popped in: "Perhaps now its understood what Bhaktisidhanta was talking about...?" This needs some attention.

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When the weather report is on
Posted: 4th of February, 2008 - 19:30
I'd like to put in a note to all those who would judge me for what I am as I dive into the dark depths of my heart and pull out these horrendous blog entries. And yes, also for those well-wishers who have already concluded that I am a person with zilch spiritual authority or insight and informed me of the same. As well as for anyone else who might alter their perceptions of me because of what I have written, what I am writing and what I will come to write. I know many have distorted ideas of what I am or what they’d like me to be. The human nature is to wishfully idealize, and of that I am as guilty as anyone.

To all of you, then, I’d like to be perfectly clear in saying that I have no interest in pretending to be anything but what in fact I am. This is my blog, and the present series of writings is coming from me as I stand behind the make-up and the costumes that I never intentionally put on. It doesn’t really make a difference to me what someone might think of it. Why? Well because it just doesn’t. It just doesn’t affect me in any real life way that would be significant. If people think I’m a sub-standard creature owing to my honesty, then all the better as I’ll get to have some of that precious peace.

If I were to write naught but polished public relations presentations, in the long term it would but bring damage both to me and the few readers who still are lurking out there. Truth be said, for truth is all that counts in the end. I cannot keep writing forever of things that tenderly foster the sweet budding creepers of devotion, shielding them from all things that might possibly shake them. It’s a real world out there, and if you want to survive, you need to face the music and come to terms with it. The strongest of trees are the ones beaten by the fiercest of storms, they say.

At least don’t close your eyes when the weather report is on.

In my mind’s eye, I vividly see the Gaudiya Math patriot standing in the yard of their headquarters. Having read my blogs, he pulls the Saraswata banner high into the flagpole, as if to kiss the sky high above in jubilant victory. His fellow men stand in line, gazing at the horizon, and sing from the bottom of their hearts, a content smile on their face... “Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light, what so proudly they hailed...” And so they return to their perilous fight, their hearts again filled with pristine vigor and confidence for their flavor of faith. Peace be for their souls. Here, let me quote from a recent comment sent by A. Well-wisher.

”If it requires for you to look at the MRP to understand if your Siksa-guru is not a siddha, you are a good piece of a blind man yourself. So, all your realisations are quite limited and relative to the degree of your conditioned state. Study Saranagati and let the Paramatma guide you and not your mind. Your authority on spiritual subjects is questionable indeed.”

I have contributed my bits and pieces to the cause of Sri Chaitanya over the years. If the services I tried to render were good for someone, may that stand to my credit in the future, and for those for whom they weren’t, may they not hold that against me. Of whom I’ve spoken badly, I have tried to apologize in realizing my folly, and if someone wants, I'll be pleased to issue further series of heartfelt apologies to recommended recipients.

I have never claimed to have unlimited or even expansive realizations. To the best of my knowledge, I have never knowingly lied of my level of understanding. I have not implied that I wouldn’t be in a conditioned state. Nor have I asked that anyone not question my authority on spiritual subjects for that matter. I have rather done my best to keep the presentations backed up by the scripture and what I’ve heard from sadhus for everyone to see and assess the information for themselves, to facilitate rather than to be the object.

I have also tried, and particularly so in more recent times, specifically to avoid stepping on the grand platform and presenting strong assessments of others. Knowing I am still short of the perfect, and realizing how little I really understand, I have also kept myself from giving bold unsolicited advice to others. There are those who feel they are eminently qualified for this, and are as if seeking opportunities for the same. May the trumpets of truth resound, they say. I hope something is left when their house of cards comes crumbling down.

As for me. Well, I’m just the little me here. I’m quite okay with that, and I hope it’s okay for you too.
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